Follow Your "Yes"

And then live in the moment you said yes to.

This was the message I heard on the beach yesterday as I sat by the ocean, trying to psyche myself up to get in the water and get over my fear of lurking sharks.

I had been craving the beach, but I have mostly been sleeping for the past three weeks, letting my adrenals heal. Yesterday was the first day I had the energy to make the drive. I put the top down on the car, blasted the music, and hit the road.

I always thought that I was a mountain girl and three years ago, you couldn't have convinced me I would choose the beach over a long Colorado hike. While the mountains ground me, the ocean heals me. And these days, it's where I feel most connected to Spirit. It's where momentary clarity comes and whatever crap I've been carrying (mine or others) sloughs itself off.

Yesterday I was thinking about the ways in which I numb out instead of tune in. How sometimes I don't even know I am doing it and other times, it is blaringly obvious. Watching Netflix while eating while scrolling Instagram. I mean.

Why am I numbing out? I wondered. My guess is I have some very convincing reasons as to why I am unwilling to get curious about my feelings. The flipside is, I don't remember the last time I had so much fun that I lost track of time. I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard that even kegels couldn't help. I don't remember the last time I fully lived inside the moments I had been manifesting. When we numb one emotion, we numb them all. Not a great strategy for experiencing the fullness of life.

The other thing about being present is that it's where answers lie. Not in the past, not on Google, not in the opinions of the people you poll about how to live your life, not in your genealogy, tarot cards, astrological chart, the fridge, or the bottom of a drink.

What if the key to our intuition is just being fully present?

Maybe asking ourselves, "In this moment, what is true for me? What do I want more of? What do I want less of? What feels safe? What feels like the most alive choice I can make?"

Maybe answers don't come right away, but I think if we make space for them, they will. You'll be doing the dishes from three days ago, trying to scrub out that weird experiment you called dinner and suddenly you know exactly what to do. What to say "YES" to and where to place a "NO" in your day, your relationships, your life.

I struggle with my "YES" sometimes because I am a people pleaser. I want approval from everyone and a lot of times the only explanation I have for making the choices that I do is that I knew it was the right choice for me. Sometimes, this explanation doesn't satiate well meaning family and friends, but I'm learning it's time to stop caring if it does.

If you don't know what to say yes to, start figuring out what you want to say no to. Sometimes the things we desire are waiting right behind the veil of obligation, busyness, and people pleasing. Choose your hell no and your hell yes will be right around the corner.